Archive for the ‘NHS Elective’ Category

80/20

November 24, 2006

I first met Mr Babu somewhere between the warm glow and the hangover. That was why it seemed normal that he was sat in the hospital at 2am with no reason for being there, his small sidekick next to him, white robe draped about his waist and shoulder. We exchanged a few words in broken English that seemed to make sense – the normality guaranteed by the alcohol again – and I wandered off to bed.

 

He called the next day, tracing Mark and me to our room by quizzing the cleaners and security guards. Mr Babu is a self-proclaimed spiritual man and university student. His grandfather was a spiritual man – as far I understand it a mystic who could confer blessings from Allah. He made a great deal of money doing this and the family became very influential in Mogh Bazaar. If you need his help you can find him in Mr Babu’s front room, buried under a large, ornate tent somewhere between the coffee table and the fire, although you may have to fight your way through the crowd that worship and bang drums there late into the night. Mr Babu still talks to his grandfather – asks him for advice – just like he talks to me, even though he is a long time dead. Should I marry this woman? Should I vote for the Awami League? Should I have the final slice of pizza?

 

Now that we’ve met him, we are Mr Babu’s best friends. As best friends do, he calls at unusual hours in person and over the phone and as often as possible. His six sisters do the same; we are part of the family. If we choose to ignore his knock he assumes that we are in some kind of trouble. His hammering becomes more persistent, perhaps trying to wake us from the diabetic comas he imagines that we’ve fallen into.

 

He called a few days, while we were on our way home from a day trip:

 

‘Mr Rorie, I miss you. I miss you, Mr Rorie. I miss you very much, Mr Rorie. I miss you 80% Mr Rorie, and I miss Mr Mark 20%.’

 

‘Thank you Babu. Goodnight.’

 

 

NTA

November 23, 2006

NTA means not to be answered. Use it in place of a pest’s name in your mobile. Do not pick up the phone. Do not even think about it. Leave it alone. Let it ring on the dresser. Hide it under a pillow. Leave the room until it stops.

 

There are many NTAs in this world, but my favourite is an acquaintance a friend made in Sylhet. Let’s call him Noddy. A few days ago he sent this little gem by text:

 

‘Hello “MATT”

 

How are you? I am well. I hope you are well.

 

Next news, I call your mobile: no: but you not receive, why? You are my FRIEND. I all time missed you. I and you journey to MADOAB KUNDO. Photo album I and you, big size one copy want.

 

I wish you every success in life.

 

FOR GET ME NOT.’

 

Before I translate this heartfelt missive, here’s a little background. Noddy is a tour guide based in Sylhet, a city in north Bangladesh. He took a friend of mine to a famous waterfall spending little more than an afternoon with him. Now, the translation:

 

‘Hello “MATT” If that is your name!

 

How are you? I am well. I hope you are well. I’m getting on very well without you.

 

Next news, I call your mobile: no: but you not receive, why? Are you ignoring me? You are my FRIEND. Guilt trip. I all time missed you. I am a needy black hole of love. I and you journey to MADOAB KUNDO. Don’t you remember the good times we had together? Photo album I and you, big size one copy want. Without this, I’m not serious. The other stalkers will laugh at me.

 

I wish you every success in life. Weep!

 

FOR GET ME NOT. And now I end it all. Goodbye.

 

21-11-2006 – Finger Mouse

 

‘Oh shit, she stuck her finger in my palm!’

 

‘What?’

 

‘She stuck her finger in my palm when we shook hands man!’

 

‘Yeah, so what?’

 

‘That means she wants to fuck me.’

 

When Mark told me this I didn’t believe him. Not the finger part, but what it means. Apparently, it’s the universal sign for I want to shag you. I didn’t believe him, but other people assure me it’s true too and recent events have convinced me it means something – something funny. A few days later we where in Old Dhaka trying to sneak into the Pink Palace, a large mansion on the river, to take some photos. We didn’t get very far and as we sat forlornly around the gate a throng formed. The crowds in Old Dhaka are so much more intense – bigger, more persistent in their attention and altogether weirder and more unsavoury. We picked ourselves up, answered the usual questions about our names and country and shook a few hands. A little man, thin and oily looking like a weasel covered in grease, held out his hand. I took it, and… no, the finger and a loving look. Perhaps it’s called the Pink Palace for another reason?

FORGET ME NOT

November 12, 2006

NTA means not to be answered. Use it in place of a pest’s name in your mobile. Do not pick up the phone. Do not even think about it. Leave it alone. Let it ring on the dresser. Hide it under a pillow. Leave the room until it stops. There are many NTAs in this world, but my favourite is an acquaintance a friend made in Sylhet. Let’s call him Noddy. A few days ago he sent this little gem by text: ‘Hello “MATT”  How are you? I am well. I hope you are well. Next news, I call your mobile: no: but you not receive, why? You are my FRIEND. I all time missed you. I and you journey to MADOAB KUNDO. Photo album I and you, big size one copy want.  I wish you every success in life.  FOR GET ME NOT.’ Before I translate this heartfelt missive, here’s a little background. Noddy is a tour guide based in Sylhet, a city in north Bangladesh. He took a friend of mine to a famous waterfall spending little more than an afternoon with him. Now, the translation: ‘Hello “MATT” If that is your name! How are you? I am well. I hope you are well. I’m getting on very well without you. Next news, I call your mobile: no: but you not receive, why? Are you ignoring me? You are my FRIEND. Guilt trip. I all time missed you. I am a needy black hole of love. I and you journey to MADOAB KUNDO. Don’t you remember the good times we had together? Photo album I and you, big size one copy want. Without this, I’m not serious. The other stalkers will laugh at me. I wish you every success in life. Weep! FOR GET ME NOT. And now I end it all. Goodbye. 

Why I’m here

October 2, 2006

I suppose I should say a little about why I’m here. Ad-Din Hospital is a not for profit institution just outside of central Dhaka. The hospital provides high quality healthcare at a low price, far lower than anything else comparable in Dhaka. It does so through the excellent work and dedication of its staff and the generousity of Sheikh Mohiuddin, its Chief Executive, who regularly invests capital in the hospital.

The hospital originally started life a Save the Children nutrition centre in the 1970s. In the late 90s, as a result of changes in funding, it was no longer financially possible for Save the Children to run the nutrition centre which over the years had grown into a women and children’s hospital. At this point they entered into an agreement with the Ad-Din, who provided they met certain conditions, would be given the hospital. One of those conditions was regular inspection by a British based team. In 2005 they recommended that the hospital would benefit from the professional eye of a healthcare management consultant. Among his recommendations – hang on, where getting there – was that an NHS management trainee or two should go to Ad-Din in order to support the organisation in its development. And that, is where I come in.

Banger Race to Ad-Din

September 17, 2006

The disorientation I felt on leaving Zia Airport abated somewhat on the way to Ad-Din. Life was no less frantic or intrusive, but I was cocooned in the familiar surroundings of car.

Travelling by road in Dhaka can be a terrifying, exhilarating or frustrating experience, and on most occasions a combination of all three. Rickshaws, baby taxis, cars, buses and trucks compete for space where there isn’t any to be had. There is no lane discipline whatsoever. If your vehicle is small enough to fit into a gap then you can swerve from one side of the road to the other at break neck speed. If the space is too small then a little honking will make it bigger.

As far I understand it, using your horn means one of two things: I’m here, not going anywhere, so don’t hit me, or I’m here, going over there, so you’d best get out of my way. And as you can see, those two options are clearly not compatible, which explains why almost every vehicle has some kind of dent in it.

I think our driver considered Mark and my western sensibilities by keeping the ride just the right side of exhilarating. Occasionally he strayed into terrifying, but there are situations in life that only a crazy person can survive in one piece, like when a truck and bus simultaneously decide to move into a space in the middle lane that you happen to be occupying. The frequent traffic jams – it took about 45 minutes to travel the 4-5 kilometres to Ad-din hospital – are the frustrating part, but they serve a useful purpose. They allow you a little time to collect your nerves and give the drivers opportunities to test their horns.

What it’s all about…

August 31, 2006

Every September over 100 NHS Graduate Management Trainees go on their electives leaving England for foreign shores. Some only make it as far as the Department of Health in Whitehall; others make it across the channel to Europe, North America and beyond, and few afflicted with more extreme wanderlust get as far Africa, Asia and South America.

 

This blog is a record of my elective at Ad-din Hospital, Dhaka, Bangladesh.